About me

My name is October and this website is my dank little goblin space where I can hide away from the light and resume my true form as a grimy, green little monster.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Basics

  • Name: October
  • Pronouns: she/her
  • Status: taken ♥
  • Signs: Pisces ☼ / Cancer ☾ / Capricorn ↑
  • Likes: reading, cats, yuri, tarot cards, halloween
  • Dislikes: buying stuff, tomato sauce, bananas, the patriarchy


    • An 88x31 button of the lesbian flag

An anime-style illustration of a girl with short black hair, bangs, green eyes, and pointy ears. Her skin is green. She is wearing a choker, necklaces and a black dress. She is a goblin.

Self-improvement

This year I will:

  • learn about nutrition; eat less sugar; build healthy habits;
  • write more; journal, create fiction; fill pages with words
  • be mindful; tune in to bodily sensations; do not bury emotions
  • social ties; make time for friends; build tolerance for social stimulation
  • keep learning; read more; keep growing; put knowledge into practice

My origin story

I spent most of my teens and twenties pretty depressed and jaded about the way that things are. Inequality and injustice snaked their way throughout my friends’ and family’s lives with cruelty and randomness. At first, I learned about and related to existentialism and nihilism in high school and college. These were pessimistic philosophies that focused on the pain and meaninglessness of existence. They reinforced how powerless I felt about everything that was constantly being destroyed around me.

Once I graduated school, there was a long time where I stayed exactly the same. I was extremely unhappy. The sense of inequality and injustice that I felt when I was younger was growing taller inside of me and I felt powerless to change anything, even my own self. I found myself in a place that had fit me six years earlier, but had since outgrown. It was choking, killing me.

It was around this time that I learned about the systemic nature of everything. I learned that people aren’t inherently cruel or greedy, but are groomed to be that way by the major institutions and backward social forces that pervade modern societies. My mental health was violently buffeted by years of trying to be happy and find a genuine place for myself in American society that didn’t exist.

In these same studies, I learned that it was possible to transform reality by turning knowledge and ideas into practice. The idea is that reading and learning aren’t enough on their own; only through personal participation can you truly comprehend things. Through this process, you can develop an intimate understanding of the world and your role in it.

Then, it happened. I changed. In order to do this, I had to let big parts of myself go, parts that had already died, becoming nothing more but dead weight holding me back that I clung to out of blind familiarity. I chose to painfully destroy and kill parts of myself that were not yet dead, but dying. But unlike other dark and difficult deaths that I had faced, this one was different. This one allowed me to become a new thousand-times-lighter version of myself. It was a necessary death which allowed me to transition from being a passenger to being an autonomous human being. I learned how to participate in the practical struggle to change reality.

Favorite things ♥

  • Games: Sun haven, Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Rune Factory
  • Books: "My Sweet Audrina" by V.C. Andrews, "The House of the Spirits" by Isabel Allende, "Shanghai Girls" by Lisa See, "Interview with the Vampire" by Anne Rice
  • Films: Nine Days (2020), Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012), Atlantics (2019), Sorry to Bother You (2018)
  • TV: The OA, Breaking Bad
  • Colors: purple, pink, black, green
  • Animals: cats, bats, snakes
  • Food: sushi, Korean BBQ, shabu shabu, lamb gyros, young coconuts
  • Drink: milk tea w/ boba, coffee with cream, tea, iced tea
  • Scents: coconut, vanilla, lavender, rose, ylang ylang
  • Seasons: Autumn, Spring

Theme credits

Click here for credit information on my theme!

The backgrounds used on this site were discovered around the net. All of the backgrounds have been dithered using DitherMeThis. I used reverse image search to find the original owners of (most of) the images but if I'm wrong please let me know. I hope to expand this section to the other little graphics (pixels, etc.) eventually but they will take me a little while to track down.

Goblin guts

Shortcake

Men-nefer

Ruined city

Spoooky

    Background image potentially created by AI. Source here

Radioactive